Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
