I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My dad is sitting where you rode me
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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