So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he fucked my hip out of place.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize