forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Apparently you make a good broom.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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