Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
there is glitter all over my balls
I party with great urgency now.
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