fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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