If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
3 2 1 whiskey
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
