if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
