I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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