My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize