I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
