I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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