GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
