Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
