well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
