Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
