went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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