Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
