Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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