you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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