I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize