Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
