hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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