real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
