I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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