bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
