this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
