i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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