TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Randomize
