i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
