Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
where are you?
Hypothermia
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
