Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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