Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
this will be a night to untag.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
