You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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