Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
