i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
