So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
