Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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