Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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