do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
