i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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