Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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