So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize