I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
