Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
