R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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