I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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