we're blogging at a bar
Just cropdusted the office
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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