its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
