fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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