With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize