Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
