I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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