Can Purell be used as lube?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
