I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
