How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
