i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
