"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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