when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
