you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize