I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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