Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
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