Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
