I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
