I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Found the puke drawer
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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