I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize