She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
