Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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