I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
